What really is a moment of clarity? Is it when all the pieces fall into place that we experience this as we can see the wrong doings of our past, or is it when things become so shattered that we bleed ourselves on the fragments to see the ultimate truth that nothing that we could ever dream will taste as sweet because of bitter disappointment? It seems at times that my spiral of suffering is endless and that there is nothing I can do to break the cycle. Yesterday was one of those days, and even though today I feel slightly better, my inner voices still taunt me, making my head ache and spiking my senses, shifting them slightly into that other mode where the shadows and whispers of those not of this realm become more noticeable to me. Sometimes I think that I can see clearer while in my dark mind, that I can see the world and it’s inhabitants in their true state of ugliness – which makes rare, true beauty even more fantastical, if one can of course find it…
In just over two weeks, I’m going in for my next tattoo – some text on the inside of my left forearm. I want to cover my scars with something that means a lot to me – some lyrics from Tool’s song, Parabola – We Are Eternal, All This Pain Is An Illusion. Every time I see it, I want to be reminded of the strength in the message, the strength I have already called upon to not give up. The font being used is called Edwardian.
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